Xenoblade Summary- Part 2

Warning- Even more spoilers. Again, don’t take this seriously, this is meant to be funny.

Word total- 1619

Recap- Last time on Dragonball Z- Oops, wrong script. Last time on Madoka Magica- Derp. Last Time on Xenoblade Chronicles…

Fiora’s in a Mechon. She can’t remember us. Great.

Now onto the epic conclusion.

Chapter 7- Jerk Face

Our heroes and Alvis are on Valak Mountain. After 100+ hours of sidequesting, they go and camp in the area where Shulk’s parents and a bunch of others found the Monado. AND DIED. (Except Shulk Maybe)

Alvis does some explaining about his “Heritage” He’s a computer. that can see the FUUUUTURRRE!!! Next day, Shulk, Reyn, Sharla, Dunban, Riki go further into Valak Mountain. Alvis goes back to Alcamoth to assist Kalian. Then our heroes meet Metal Face again. Then Metal Face reveals that he’s (Drumroll) Mumkhar! Now he’s trying to kill him. The heroes beat him after 800 tries. Oh, Fiora was there too. Mumkhar tried to kill her. Again. Then a shiny golden Mechon who calls himself Egil comes and says: “Hay if u want Fiora back, come to Mechonis bruh” So then he picks Fiora up while Metal Face flies away because he’s a jerk. Jerk Face. So then they go to Mechonis.

Chapter 8- Shingeki no Galahad Fortress

We go to the Mechonis sword! Yay Dickson is there! Anti-Mechon stuff. That’s expensive as heck. Really? Anyways, the buncha jokas invade Galahad Fortress. Time for a musical montage! (Something in German) Gurren no Yumiya! Something something something I don’t even know the stupid lyrics! Uh, what do I do ’cause I don’t know, well it might be worth kicking Jerk Face’s butt today so. Rage quit worthy bosses! Kick their butts because their jerks. Don’t forget about their cheap strategies! (insert whatever lyrics you can come up with) Then we killed Mumkhar. Then we stormed Galahad fortress. We try to save Fiora. Then- “EGIL HIJACK LOL” Egil hijacked us. Long story short, the Monado got deactivated by this thing called Apocrptha- apopop- Apocrywhatever. We got rekt by Egil who Noscoped us. Then Fiora saves us! And then Galahad Fortress collapsed. Fiora fell with us. At this point, Kalian gets the races to band together and kick butt.

Chapter 9- The MCN! (Mechonis)

(1 foreshadowing dream later…) Shulk wakes up on the Mechonis hand along with Fiora who is sadly unconscious. We saved her by sharing some water. And… uh… this is awkward… But we got Fiora! (she’s my personal favorite character to play as) After another Mechon hijack, we got Sharla and Reyn back in the party!

After some more messing around- Oh hi- Ok, turns out that these guys are the Machina, the ACTUAL inhabitants of Mechonis. It turns out that Egil is a Machina who is the son of this fat Machina named Miqol. Now Miqol wants us to kill Egil for what he’s done. Also, we got Melia, Dunban and Melia back in the party. After some fixing up Fiora, we go to Mechonis to kick some Mechon butt! Even more later, we meet Jade Face (AKA Gadot) but he can’t recognize us either. So we take him down to half heath. Sharla freaks out because of Heroic Blue Screen of Death. Gadot tries to explode us.

We got saved. A Machina Woman named  Vanea claims that this goddess chick named Meyneth saved us all! So then our heroes and Vanea travel to the Mechonis’ main capitol Agniritha! Then Fiora eyes turn red and kills everybody- WHO GAVE ME THIS SCRIPT? Wait… it was Lorthia… DIE YOU DUMB CHEAP BOSS NOBODY LIKES YOU! (We are having technical difficulties, please stand by)

OK. Long story short, Meyneth’s soul is inside Fiora (Basically, 2 souls, 1 body) she tells us that it turns out that the Bionis just attacked Mechonis one day for no reason. So, turns out Egil is a well-intentioned extremist. So after another (More annoying) fight with Gadot. (Thankfully, he got his senses back with Fiora’s help) At this point, Kalian and the others notice that the other Face Mechon just quit. (Thanks Fiora/Meyneth!)

Chapter 10- Well crud.

The heroes try to bat up Egil. They fail. Egil activates the Mechonis and calls Vanea and Meyneth traitors. Meyneth saves us. Oh no we fell because Fiora’s body couldn’t handle it. Yay we got saved by Miqol, Alvis and Dickson! After a break, our heroes go to Mechonis Core and beat up Apacrywhatever. We then beat up Egil and his Golden Mechon. So then we prove a point and tell Egil that what he was doing was wrong. And then Dickson shot us. He lived up to his name. Turns out Zanza was hiding inside Shulk’s dead body and is the big baddie; he kills Meyneth. Lorithia, Dickson and Alvis are Zanza’s disciples. I KNEW SHE WAS EVIL! It also turns out that The Full High Entia turn into Telethia when exposed to too much Ether. Only Half High Entia can escape this. Can our heroes defeat Zanza and defeat (2- Dickson and Lorithia) his disciples?

Chapter 11- To make a long story short…

They did. With Alvis’ help and the True Monado.


Turns out that Zanza and Meyneth were originally two random geek scientists who destroyed the World and became gods for some reason. Alvis was originally a computer. He also is the Monado (The True one) So what does Shulk do about the fact that the World is almost done for? He wishes for a World with no need for gods! (Insert religious joke here) and everyone lived happily ever after. The End.


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